Monday, March 02, 2015

3 Essential Things I Learned With Debbie In 40 Years of Marriage

I am currently in a men's group studying Ken Nair's book, "Discovering The Mind of a Woman." This is a highly insightful book if you want to become a better man and husband. It has made me think of three huge lessons I have learned with Debbie over 40 years of marriage:

1. Listen to the "cautions of your wife."

I first heard this idea when Debbie and I were in our 20's. It is huge. There are times when your wife will want to send you a caution about something or someone. She may not have all the facts and reasons that you need, but something in her is providing you a caution. Pay attention. Do not pass by it too quickly. It will save you a lot of grief over time.

2. "Your wife is feeding you information."

I first heard this idea at 43, 22 years into our marriage, in a counselor's office. On one occasion, Debbie was talking to me and I said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." The counselor looked at me and said, stop that. I said, stop what? The counselor said, "your wife is feeding you information and you keep discounting her." This was a defining moment in our lives and marriage. Gents, your wife is feeding you important information about life, love, the children, the future, the past etc. Pay attention. It is a great source of information and opportunity to connect as couples.

3. Debbie is my "Lady of Wisdom."

Debbie and I were introduced to "5 Aspects of Woman" when we came to North Point in 2001. One of the aspects is, Lady of Wisdom. When I realized that Debbie was given to me as a lady of wisdom, she took the #1 poll position as my counselor. Yes, I still have a CPA, lawyer, realtor and other men, but she took the #1 place of wisdom and counsel to me.

When you listen to the caution of your wife, listen to the information she is feeding you and call her your, "Lady of Wisdom," you will experience a connection, intimacy and oneness in your marriage that you never imagined. Enjoy.