Monday, March 17, 2008

A Letter From My Older Sis

This morning my thoughts have been on our family and our family legacy. There is nothing more satisfying than to know that our children are walking in truth. As I write this letter my heart is overwhelmed not only with the heritage I have received from Mom and Dad but that I am enjoying with my children and their mates.
Every day I learn of another failed marriage; husbands leaving their wives, wives dis-engaging from their husband and my heart breaks. If statistics are correct there will be someone in our family who will get tired, or disengage and somehow feel that they have grounds to leave their marriage, and GOD forbid, their precious children.
MY desire today is to BEG everyone of us to make a commitment to our family name...We will make our legacy something that we will fight for. Will we seek ways to know all we need to know to live a life that is deeply grounded not only in the Word of GOD but also in Godly counsel and wisdom. We will not fight with one another but for the ability to intimately connect and understand our mates.
I am reading a new book I started yesterday called Influencer by Paterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan and Switzler. In the book I read of a study I heard about several years ago as it relates to the chances of a couple staying together. I wanted to quote this passage as I found it very insightful.
"Relationship scholar Howard Markman took us into his Relationship Lab to show us how he learned that by focusing on only a few behaviors, he could reduce their chances of divorce or unhappiness by over one third. You don't have to study what interests the couple share or have in common or how they were raised or any of the different ways they treat each other. Merely watch how they argue. If Markman and his colleagues can watch a couple for just 15 minutes, they can predict with 90% accuracy rate who will and who wont be together and happy five years later. During those 15 minutes Markman will invite a couple to discuss some topic about which they disagree. If the argument involves a significant amount of blaming, escalation, invalidation or withdrawal, the future is bleak. If on the other hand, the same couple opens tough conversations with statements that communicate respect and a shared purpose, and halts emotional escalation in a respectful way to take a time out, the future will be entirely different."

May we all seek ways to grow closer to our mates as well as work on ways to communicate with the other persons best interest in mind.
I lOVE YOU ALL and am so blessed to be in this amazing family.
Just wanted you to know you were prayed for this am.
Love,
Linda, Mom, and Aunt Linda!!

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